One of the reasons why relationships are falling apart has to do with insecurities. Reason being that, some of us are very shallow men, and look for nothing more than a beautiful face and a big booty.
Most women are after a man with money, with a luxurious apartment, a nice car, a man who can take her out and show her the world.
During the first dates in the relationship with our potential partners, we get our guard up. That’s why 99% of men will say things like “If I show her early how much I love her; she will take advantage of me or manipulate me with my weaknesses” or women be like “If I can have a child with him; I could actually keep him.”
So ultimately, we have two opposite sexes living in hypocrisy.
1. Fear of intimacy. We fear intimacy because it means to open ourselves up to other person. It means depending on your spouse/partner emotionally and sexually, something which we fear so much.
2. Fear of commitment. A lot of us are caught up in Hollywood stars, drugs, alcohol, reality TV, meaningless sex, and a host of other self-destructive behaviours, which prevent us from serving our people properly. All of these things require no commitment from us.
Commitment means sharing—struggling together, making life better together and put our resources at disposal. As Dr. Amos Wilson mentioned that people fear commitment because they want to appear successful in the eyes of the world.
They feel that if they make a commitment then they will fail. They will be shown for who they are. That’s why some folks love people who make no commitment. In essence, we detach ourselves, emotionally from relationships out of the fear of commitment and pitch up physically.
3. Fear of suffering. Love is teamwork. By definition, love is unconditional and unselfish. And that means taking both the good and bad and working together to make the relationship work.
We have a generation of people who say “there should be no suffering in my life.” As a result, we try to escape suffering. This is stupidity! Because through suffering together, it helps you to bond with your partner and enables you to get know each other.
4. Fear of getting to know your partner. A lot of us have fantasies on our minds about our ideal partner, which prevents us from seeing people for who and what they are. Sooner or later, we’ll get to know him or her for who he or she really is, and realize that he or she isn’t the person we originally thought.
By the time we wake up from our romantic dream; the person’s true colours are visible for anyone to see.
5. Fear of being alone. The fear of loneliness traps us into making foolish choices, we later regret. We get caught up in trying to get a lover by whatever means necessary. In the process, we look desperate and needy.
That’s why it’s easy for them to manipulate us as they want. As long as they take us out of our minds (reality) and make us feel good about ourselves. A lot of folks commit themselves to people who are just passing by.
6. Fear of knowing ourselves. Sometimes a great deal of love, comes through knowing yourself first. It’s impossible for one to love others without knowing oneself. You have to be convinced of your own needs and face life squarely, in order to love someone else.
This post was inspired by the Honourable Dr. Amos Wilson, whom I love so dearly!
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