If there is no struggle, there is no progress—Frederick Douglass
Sometimes you will find people saying “I’m a human being” “Love is colourblind.” It’s true, to the great extent. Everyone wants to be in an amazing relationship and have great weekend sex.
Everyone wants to live happily ever after life with no problems. But a few rarely find happiness and success in spite of the suffering involved. We live in a generation that’s afraid of pain and suffering. Worldly maxims such as “If it doesn’t make me happy, I have no right to do it” or “I have the right to be happy all the time.”
Thoughts are beliefs, thus a way of life. For most of my teenage years and young adulthood, I fantasized about being a president and getting the love of my life (I won’t mention names) in my arms. Any great politician (e.g. Barack Obama) I saw speaking, I would envision myself winning the South African election by a landslide victory and giving out great speeches of the 21th century.
Of course, my high school crush would be with me in front of massive cheering crowds. The daydreaming continued up through university, even after she left me for another man. I knew that my time was coming. I simply had to “wait for the perfect opportunity.”
But despite daydreaming about this for over half of my adult life, the fantasy never came. I don’t have all the answers but ideas take us somewhere. I got the thrills from fantasising about presidency and my crush and it definitely took me somewhere. But it was not the intended place I needed to be at.
While I still want to be a public servant of my people ( and have a beautiful African Queen besides me), but I’ve realised that I was actually in love with the finished product, not the process.
A leader is someone who not only sees the vision clearly but is capable of communicating with the masses. All great leaders in Africa, Malcolm X, Dr. King, Nelson Mandela, Patrice Lumumba etc., were successful in their lives because they took great risks and disturbed comfort zones.
Also, loving another person is something not to be taken very lightly. Finding out that the person you love has cheated on you can break your heart. I will never understand why cheating is increasingly popular in society in the case of someone saying that they love you, only to stab you in the back. But rejection teaches you to stop being needy and unattractive. If you have been dating frequently, take a break from relationships and focus on yourself.
Happiness and success require struggle. Whether you are looking to start a new business or get a degree or in hot pursuit of your goals. You will have to pay the price. Nothing in this universe is free and painless.
4 steps I recommend:
1. Fight back. Douglass asserts “Who would be free, themselves must strike the blow.” Without the fighting spirit, it would be impossible for human beings to thrive in this hostile environment. Those who adapt are those who fight back against at what nature throws at them.
2. Acceptance. Try to get over your failures and don’t let it define who you are. Don’t give up because of voices saying “You don’t have what it takes to be successful.” Just answer back and “I won’t give up on my dreams.” Get up after every fall and give it your it best try, but be realistic, it could go either way.
3. Don’t take rejection personally. If a certain girl or boy doesn’t feel attracted to you. Don’t assume you were not good enough. It’s their problem, not yours. You should focus on meeting new people and you will find them.
4. Work hard. Michael Bloomberg, the billionaire and co-founder of Bloomberg, said “Hard work makes you lucky.” Working hard towards your goals, whether it is getting a promotion, contract for your business or starting a business or getting that degree you always dreamed of, puts you in front of countless opportunities. Because through networking or “hassling”, you get a reputation as well as the first person most businesses, contractors or employers might consider hiring for the job.
So that $100 million tender could be yours, that job could be yours and it puts you at a chance to fulfil those dreams of living in the mansion, driving that sports car, travelling the world, meeting new people and gaining knowledge and expertise in a wide variety of different subjects. Or simply become financially independent.
You can’t win if you don’t play. That’s part of life, you need to go out there and play to win. A relationship will come with emotional and sexual setbacks to a point where you doubt yourself and start to project your feelings of frustration and inadequacy onto your partner; a business will come with repeated failures, and working crazy hours on something you don’t know whether it will be successful or not.
I once heard a saying that said “entrepreneur- someone who jumps off a cliff and builds a plane on the way down.”
The question is not “How much you have”, but “are you willing to use what you have to make more out of life?” That answer can actually get you somewhere. It’s the question that can change your life totally.
Leave your comments and I’ll read them.
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