A boy named Khulile was born of middle class parents and raised in comfortable surroundings. His father and mother were doctors in a local general hospital. Everything was handed to him in a silver platter. Until one day, something bad happened which changed his life forever.
Here is his story:
I sat down to do an assignment for my eighth-grade Maths class. I was sitting at the
desk in our study, next to lounge. I was 16 years old. My father was 49 at the time and had been, until his first stroke one year earlier, a heavy drinker. After his stroke, which occurred two months after my birthday, he had given up drinking. But his liver and heart had sustained damage, and his doctors had told him that he could not engage in any heavy work.
But on this summer's evening , my father decided to go jogging. He looked very weak and tired. After all, he had lost 45 pounds from the ordeal. Struggling to put on the jogging gear, he fell on the floor. He went on to violent convulsions and lost consciousness. My mother arrived just in time to call the ambulance. Unfortunately, by the time the ambulance arrived he was already dead.
At a young age of 16, I watched my father die. There was nothing I could do to save him. I stood there helplessly and burst into tears. My five-year old sister was too young to understand what has just happened. My older brother Siyanda, 21, was still writing his final tertiary exams; my own mother was a widow at 44.
I remember crying out loud, "why me?"
Life is unfair. It doesn’t really matter who we are or what we do, from timeto time, bad things happen to all people -- good and bad. But it should discourage us from seeing the good in every bad. After the storm, we expect to see a rainbow. Therefore after a personal tragedy, we also expect something good.
Let's discuss these steps in detail:
1. Be positive.
It's normal to lose focus during a tragedy. Also, it's healthy to grieve. But bad news shouldn't hold us down. Simply because we grow from experiencing problems more than we would without them. Instead of mourning endlessly, think of the good things in your life. List them one by one. Write them down.
2. Pain has meaning.Valuable lessons in life are learned through pain and suffering. After centuries of warfare and bloodshed, people from around the world decided that wars are morally wrong. We learnt a lesson the harder way, but it was worth it.
How often has something seemed tragic while it was happening but years later, in retrospect, was actually a blessing in disguise?
3. Don't take it personal. Sometimes you just feel like the universe conspired against you. You have been singled out as a goat among sheep. Let me tell you that bad things happen to everyone at different times and in different ways.
4. Help someone else. Since you have been dealt with a tragedy, it will be easier for you to assist others who are experiencing what you went through.When you turn your attention to another grievingperson -- especially someone who is struggling with the same kind of
pain -- you put your love into action. What was meant for bad becomes a force for good.
5. Seek help. Help comes in different forms: casual, religious and professional.
- Casual could be a heart to heart conversation with a trusted family member, friend or colleague.
- Religious being a pastor, rabbi or iman, to guide you through.
- Professional assistance is counselling sessions by a certified therapist or life coach can offer assistance and put you in the right direction.
6. It's only temporary. Nothing in this universe is eternal. Nothing forever. Every situation is passing. Even if it’s not what you desired, at least it will be over and you can start afresh.
7. Mediate. Most problems if not all already have solutions and it's up to us to find those solutions. Through mediation we can get the clarity we need. Mayo Clinic recommends: "During meditation, you focus your attention and quiet the stream of jumbled thoughts that may be crowding your mind and causing stress. Meditation can instill a sense of calm, peace and balance that can benefit both your emotional well-being and your overall health.
Guided meditation, guided imagery, visualization and other forms of
meditation can be practiced anywhere at any time, whether you're out for a walk, riding the bus to work or waiting at the doctor's office."
No comments:
Post a Comment