How To Deal With a Broken Relationship

By Sicebise Msengana

Pic: abetter-relationship.com

A couple of months ago, my friend ended a four-year-old relationship with his girlfriend. The relationship was doomed from the start because of trust issues. The only good thing that came out of the relationship was a beautiful baby girl.

My friend later text me: "It looks like I'm losing it."  I replied, "Will talk later." The next day, I called to reason with him on how disastrous the relationship was. He always boasted how happy he was, but the word unhappiness was written all over his face.


My friend's relationship taught me a lot more about relationships: With each new broken relationship, we better
understand not only what it is that we’re looking for in a partner, but also our feelings.

1. Suppose that you are the wrong one. Let her know you will wait, even if it takes considerable time to mend things between the two of you.

2. Respect the boundaries. Stalking her, sending "I miss you" messages ten times a day, calling her frequently, chances are it will just annoy her more.

3. Give them time. It may be that he or she needs space to heal and make sense of things.

4. Show genuine love. A lot of people do not know what real love is. I watch people take out their boyfriends and girlfriends to expensive restaurants, give them money, buy flowers, chocolate, "I love you" mugs and sweaters. It's not wrong to spoil your man or woman, but the point here is that anyone can do all the superficial stuff, and there's no love in that. The truly romantic things in life are those daily small acts of love to show that you care and you are thinking of them.

5. Build trust. As a man or woman, be accountable for your actions and show that you're honest. Tell her how you feel about certain things in the relationship. Be a man of your word and keep the promises you make.

6. Admit failure. Honest is what keeps relationships going. Sometimes the best thing you can do is being bold enough and admit when things are not going well

7. Don't give too soon. There's no reason to give up on a relationship just because things are not going well. If you sense that your relationship is worth fighting for then take a stand.

8. Don't force things. Being supportive and respectful is enough. Don't try to change him. Change yourself and be a woman that you can be proud of.

9. Give some space. But let her know that you are sorry and still think about her. Be gentle. Don't force issues.

10. Know when to let go. Your relationship might not end instantly, but you will notice that what used to be a two hour call is now a five minute call, your texts are ignored and she is "too busy". Let go with dignity