What real men do

By Sicebise Msengana

Pic: Telegraph.co.uk

It was a lazy Saturday of December 2008, I was fast asleep on my bed. Suddenly, I had a loud noise on  my door.''Wake up, Sicebise.'' I was dreaming about that girl again! Worse yet, I was angry because my uncle had disturbed me. As we were working he told me something remarkable. He said, ''being a man is about responsibilities.'' What does it mean to be a man? It doesn't matter which
culture or part of the world you come from, the world offer similar views about being a man:

Some say that being a man requires courage, muscles, determination, vigor, and possessing traditional manly qualities. Others say that manliness is about a great work ethic, wealth, dominance, leadership skills or sexual might.

Does the right thing. Yep, that's right. Real men do what's right and fair. A real man knows what's right and stands firm in the right place. Men like Martin Luther King,  Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill and many other heroes stood up for their beliefs even if the cost meant life imprisonment or death. They stood up for their convictions up to their last moments. A man  stands up for what he believes in, his beliefs, his words, and actions.

He is brave. A man has many fears, but he isn't ruled by them. He goes after what he wants, even in the presence of challenges and self-doubt. Being a manly is not easy. It is marked by determination, hard wok and perseverance. A real man is not afraid to place himself on the line for those he loves.

Confident. A true man man is confident and comfortable in his own skin (and that's what's women love in a man). He has a good self-image about himself. An alpha male is always calm, relaxed, in control of the situation and himself.

He respect himself first, then respects others. A man respects women. He doesn't treat women like dirt. He respects them like his equal--she is. Also respects other women as well.  Real men never bully others. But understands that people too deserves your respect.

Have a greater purpose for living. A man lives for something or a purpose. He takes pride in how he lives his life. He is not ashamed by who he is, what he haves, or how he looks, even if he is trying to change his life, world. They've  goals. They've working toward something.

He has character.  A real  man is moral, loyal, honest, humble, charitable, helpful, caring, and supportive. His actions are made with care and consideration. Men with character have a peace of mind, that's why they sleep well at night.

He is moderate.  One of the most common misconceptions is that men have no emotions other than anger. Men experience a full range of emotions-- sadness, anger, sorrow, joy. However, he is not the wild and out of control guy who fights with everyone. He thinks before he talks or acts. He never allows himself to be so mad that he does stupid things.

They are responsible. Real men are responsible for their actions. A true man never runs away from challenges or responsibilities. Your family comes first--before your work and even yourself. Boys understand that anyone can father a baby, but only a real man can accept the responsibility that comes with being a father. The difference between a boy and a man, is that men are responsible. Men clean up their act. Men respect their commitments, accept their duties as providers and mentors.

Make sacrifice for those they love. A man steps up to the plate, while a boy is nervous. For the people he loves, a man makes a sacrifice as a duty--but nevertheless shy's away. Not only is he concerned with the legacy that he will leave someday, but he honors the legacy. A man does what's necessary, even if it's the toughest decision, or the most unpopular one.

Distinctive.  Real men have no time to imitate or mimic other men, but they aspire to be no one but themselves.  The way they dress, speak, act makes an impression on people. Everywhere, they go they leave a work. If a man finds someone special, he doesn't treats her like a piece of trash but like a Queen-she is.

Loves competition. A real man knows that he is not the only man in the universe. There will always be competition with other men. When a man reflects on the qualities he possess that makes him a winner. If you lose, lose like man. Don't make excuse for defeat or give up but work on improving yourself as a man. A man knows the value and growth that comes with losing.

Welcomes challenges. Being a man isn't easy at all. Indeed, it is marked by hard work and struggle. By overcoming obstacles, a man moves closer to being a ideal man. As a man do yourself a favor, challenge yourself. If you love the comfort zone you aren't doing yourself a favor. Challenge yourself like going to the children's football game, finding a new hobby, getting a new skill, taking out trash, washing the dishes and so on. Remember, no man is perfect and no one is born a real man. It's something that must be cultivated through hard work, struggle, tears, sweat and struggle.

Being manly is something every men who has lived and still living aspires to have, but only a few attains that standard. Unfortunately, being manly is not like sleeping and waking up being a real man. It's a process, a ever-changing  work in progress...Are you up for the challenge? Do you have what it takes to be a real man? A real man stands up for what he believes in, he sees the world for what it really is. He doesn't focus on what he can't control, but on he can--himself. Be the real man who helps the old lady with her to her car. And most importantly, a true man loves life, loves family and precious everything entrusted into his care.

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