Open Letter to the African woman

By Sicebise Msengana

Pic: Pinterest

If there is a person that I respect in this world, it is an African woman. She is the reason for my existence. For nine months, she carried me in her womb. Between her thighs, she brought me into this world. I suckled her beasts for nourishment. Most people who have unrealistic expectations are more likely to expect a candlelight romance, ‘great’ sex and pampering from their partners. For most people when the relationship fails, they blame everyone except themselves, in the process, they don’t take responsibility for their actions and commit the same mistakes over and over again.  Loving is not an easy thing. Loving the African woman is demanding and a full time job.


 I live in an African community and therefore in close proximity to African women. I’m likely to encounter African women than women of other racial groups. It’s the African woman who is more likely to break my heart or mend it. However, you will never find me with an inferior complex moaning that all African women are taken or these bitches aint loyal. I take full responsibility for my love life. The African woman is not obliged to date me or hang out with me. But any sensible African woman who likes a proudly African man with a sense of humour, confident in his own skin, ambitious, outgoing and like his beer cold and listens to baby-making music, she would hear out my story before accepting or rejecting my advances. In fact, she would even consider making that man a lover of life or soul mate.

 Historical, the African woman has been a constant companion to the African man, through thin and thick. Looking at how historical our enemies have treated the African woman, not only did I get so angry to pick the gun for the African woman, Chancellor William makes the following observation: “One of the main attractions that drew thousands of white men was their unlimited sexual freedom with all the black girls and women who were enslaved and helpless in the power of their masters. These "wholesale raids" on black womanhood continued to swell the mulatto population, the majority of which, as in the case of Egypt and the Sudan, became the faithful servants and loyal representatives of- the conquering races to which their fathers belonged." In the Arab slave trade, Asians preyed on African women. These female victims were used as sex slaves in harems and domestic workers. In America, African women were sexually exploited by white enslavers. Today, the victimisation of the African woman is been perfected by the foreigner invaders through forced assimilation of African. Funny enough,  there’s no plan to encourage Africa migration but a plan to ‘integrate Africa through miscegeny.

This epiphany forced me to think long and hard about my personal treatment of the African woman. I have been a jerk at times, but these mistakes were committed in ignorance, not arrogance. I was not aware of the hurtful things I caused that might have scared the African woman for a time or worse for life. I have not been there for you. I was supposed to protect and defend you against harm’s way. For this reason, I humbly ask for your forgiveness, African woman. Please acknowledge my smile with a smile.

I for one stand with the African woman, she is not my enemy, but my true friend and ally. But white supremacy temporarily exists because it lives on confusion and keeping  both genders divided and conquered. If a thing such as reverse racism existed. I could theorise that African men who are assisting in the oppression of the African women are reverse racists. The African man being robbed of the knowledge of self will partake in said self-destructive behaviours that are detrimental to the advancement of the African race. Such brothers will hate and mistreat those who look like him—his women and children.

In Africa, we have INITIATION stages. Prof. Manu Ampim describes five: Birth, Adulthood, Marriage, Eldership and Ancestorship. Europeanized Africans (i.e. Diaspora Africans) perform mainly Birth and Eldership because they have not been initiated in the ways of our ancestors. But I want to discuss the rite of Adulthood. When boys are past puberty stage, they’re initiated into MANHOOD. This is a very important ritual performed on this boys so that they can be  responsible hardworking men and providers and protectors of the African  family. This represents a transition from boyhood to manhood. It also represents a change of heart on the boys part—they no longer see themselves as boys. They come back as men and are accepted into society as men and bestowed privileges reserved for men. But when a man doesn’t live up to society’s expectations, that man is seen as a boy in spite of his age. In essence, a 50 year-old can be treated  or still seen as a boy. We have no obligation to treat him as man except for showing him kindness.

Every time a brother isn’t in charge or doesn’t have a purpose of living they’re simply failing African women and his progeny. Our women are being mistreated because African men aren’t in control. Our children are victimised because African men don’t want to fight for liberation and complete empowerment and sovereign of Africa. Simply put: weak men cannot protect women. It’s outside their expertise. The only thing irresponsible and weak men can do is to bash, call sisters nasty names and project—deflect, deny and blame the sisters for the problems in our  collective communities because they are secure in victimhood rather than insecure in personal responsibility. This allows them to maintain their role as societal victims—it’s always someone else’s fault.

 As for me, I will not fall victim to this evil inhumane system—white supremacy, that was put into place by White oppressive cave-dwellers with the intention of piting African men and women against each other and say “Look at them. They are fighting!“ Then come up with half-baked ‘solutions‘ such as interracial dating/marriage as an alternative to African traditional courtship/marriage. Any African man who bashes, call his women ‘Hoes‘, raises the hand against the African woman or mistreat her is an insult to  the African race and a traitor to his people. Nobody should hurt or lift a finger against the African woman, especially when we have very few men who are fighting against white supremacy. Nobody has the right to mistreat or call our African women nasty names unless African men are bold enough to take on the enemy. Instead of displaced anger and frustration against African women, how about picking up guns and fight for liberation?

Until African men are willing to oppress and kill the enemy, no African man should mistreat African woman. Since I had this ancient ritual performed on me and I fulfilled all the requirements to be a man, I refuse to accept the idea of African men being powerless. I refuse to be a pawn in the hands of white supremacy, some token in a slave-master game. I will stand up for the African women. I will not be a boy in society’s eyes.

The African man is not powerless, and has a responsibility to organise and create independent nation-building institutions and empower his woman. In spite of her mistakes and flaws, I love the African woman. An African male body  has trillions of nerves and only the African woman knows how to get on every single one of them.