Seven ways to happiness

By Sicebise Msengana

Pic: Mine

Everyone wants to be happy, and there is no doubt that for most of us, being in a good mood is more pleasant than being in a bad one. But how many of us can say we have attained such a standard? Happiness and serenity are sought after, longed for, by men and women everywhere, but are rarely found. What makes people happy?

1. Explore spirituality.  For some people, being spiritual or religious, means going to church every Sunday. Worshipping at a local mosque. For others, it means going to a quiet place to meditate and reflect on life. Whatever you call it, meditation and praying can help with slowing breathing and brain activity, reduced heart rate and blood pressure. The physiological benefits of prayer and meditating include anti-ageing, deep rest, and easier breathing. The psychological benefits include decreased depression, anxiety, increased happiness, and emotional health. Furthermore, when you meditate or pray, you are more likely to be filled with peace, stability, serenity and joy. The more a person practices praying and meditation, the greater the chances that there will be a major change toward personal and spiritual growth.

  2. Be generous. In fact, pro-social behaviour-- actions by individuals that help others without expecting any gains.  Almost every study of  happiness indicates one thing among others that makes people healthier and happier; helping others. It feels good to help others--the ability to be able to experience others' emotional, physical states and feeling sympathetic toward them, and taking their perspective. Empathy leads us to offer help for no extrinsic reason, because assisting others is rewarding to the helper. Helping others also helps reduces unpleasant feelings. In others words, we do a good thing to stop feeling bad. Helping is an accomplishment--when we're helping people we are responding to their needs because it is an accomplishment and doing so is rewarding in and of itself.

3. Be grateful. Are you grateful? It inspires gratitude for what life has already given you, and it's what really helps you define your greater purpose for living. The only secret to happiness is slowing down enough to realize that you have been blessed. It doesn't matter what you believe--in one God or many gods or no god at all. As long as you are grateful and content about what you have you will be happy no matter what life throws at you. You will rejoice even in tears.

4. Coping with unhappiness. Have you ever felt that you were right at the edge of being overwhelming by negative events in life or by forces you could no longer handle? If so, you are familiar with unhappiness. Being happy means that there are times when you will be unhappy, and knowing that life is unjust. If you adjust your expectations with reality by tackling challenges, you will be better off. Because unhappiness is an inescapable part of life, the key is not trying to eliminate or avoid it but rather to cope with it effectively in ways that reduces its causes. This will force you to think through  problems and think about what gives you happiness, so you can set new paths that may change your life.

5.  Accept the emotions. Death of a loved  one, injury to one's child (including oneself), failure at work or in school-- unless we live perfect lives, most of us experience stressful events and changes at sometime or other. The good life is not achieved by ignoring  reality or emotions when they come up, whatever you are facing, the goal is to use them in a smart way. If the thinking is inaccurate and negative, then our mood becomes more and more depressed. Instead, try to stimulate good thoughts by reading uplifting books, music and television.

6. Be genuine. The ultimate human experience is not gained because you are richer, smarter or more educated. But your experiences are more profound. Your life may be driven by external forces (make more money, and have more toys), as opposed to intrinsic ones (spending more time with your family). So, to find your real self you must see and clearly understand the meaning of life. Then you will realize that life is not about fame, expensive cars or big homes. Good people are not interested in those things, because it would be a waste to want it all in this temporal world. Evil people, on other hand, do good deeds that are the superficial part of their lives and it is not of the  utmost  importance to them. That's why they are rewarded and get it all in this world and in ways that matter to them. That's why you need to break away from superficiality, which many people tend to live in--then you will live a healthier, happier experience of life.

7. Be positive.  We can choose either to let the unfortunate  circumstances control us or control them. A little unhappiness here and there forces you to take a stand-- will it be positive or negative? Are you a half empty or a half full person? Sometimes you will go through setbacks, but if you keep the right attitude, it will help you become who you aspired to be and take you where you are supposed to be.

So, what makes you happy? Amazingly, for many people it's not money or material wealth. While success and money can influence our happiness. Happiness itself is something different. Happiness is a product of bigger, more meaningful goals such as being passionate about what you do, having fun while doing it and benefiting from the experience you have acquired over the years.

Your thoughts on Seven ways to happiness?