Are you waiting for a miracle to be happy again?

By Sicebise Msengana

Pic: Happygiggles.com

Sometimes you look at your life and wonder what went wrong. You look at your past and wish you can undo those mistakes and re-live life. Are you feeling miserable over what you have no control? Do you feel sad, empty, used, and broken? If yes, why don't you make necessary changes to your life? What is your plan to overcoming loneliness, boredom, feeling inadequate? Sleeping? Drugs? Alcohol? Facebook? Yes, these things are good distractions for temporary pleasure, but for how long? How long will this go on? One thing is for sure, happiness is a personal choice. It starts and ends with personal responsibility. Aristotle once said, " Happiness depends upon ourselves.''


Share your feelings. Feelings need to be shared. Don't bottle them up. Talk, talk, talk until you feel light. Talking gets heavy feelings out. When we suppress our emotions, they become like a volcano that is ready to explode. So share them with a trusted friend, family member, and a pastor.


Happiness is a choice. If we recognised that fully, we would be carrying a lighter burden. No one said life would be easy but how we respond to challenges that come our way goes a long way. You should be responsible for your own happiness. It's not somebody else's job. It's yours and yours alone; until you take responsibility your loneliness, boredom and emptiness, you will suffer each day with unhappiness.

Life is about growth. Sometimes we make the mistake of resisting change. Which sets us to feel very anxious about everything. Even if we don't want to grow and change; it is a must that we do so. We need to keep moving, learning and growing. Otherwise, life may pass by. Don't spend your time dreaming about "What-ifs" of life, just keep growing. Unless, you live in the world of Peter Pan where nobody ever grows up.

Count your blessings.  In a real sense, each of us has received a box filled with unconditional love, kisses, hugs from, friends and family. There's  simply no gift or material possessions anyone could hold that is more precious than this.

Accept the reality. How do you possibly think you can be happy when you're in denial? Don't get sucked into your pocket of reality. Keep your eyes wide open or you will miss all the help available.

Forgive and forget and move on. You can give up on a miserable relationship but not on love. Maybe you have chased the illusive butterfly of love and it didn't work out? Yes, it's very sad but that love of your life is not coming back. No one can do anything about it. You can spread your wings elsewhere and there are so many lives out there. There is someone who is your match. He may not fit on your list but he will meet you on your point of need. And you will find them.

Doing the same thing over and again.  May be you have doing the same thing  for ten years, and still expecting  a different outcome? Well, that would be possible if you were a magician and I hope not! Commit yourself to a new plan and stick to it until you see results. No excuses but commitment. Thirty minutes of exercise, positive thinking and eating a healthy snack can go a long way over time. It can make a big difference to your relationships and your personal well-being. Start now!

Love yourself. You can't change how you look, your family, or your background. But you can change how you see things. It's about time you loved yourself. For all the human beings who were told they're not ''GOOD'' enough because of invisible  standards set by insecure people...that nonsense stops here! For every woman who was told she is not beautiful because she is not slim, just love yourself. For every person who was silenced because they don't have a seven figure salary in their bank account, you're priceless. Stop being hard on yourself because of  what others think of you.

Admit when wrong. You can never have a peace of mind without a clear conscience. At the end of the day wrong is wrong. Period. Adults already know that. When you make a mistake accept responsibility, apologise and make things right. Don't play the blame game. Everything wrong with the world is done knowing fully well that nothing good is going to come out of it but sadness.

Comparing your life. Suppose God is a piano player and each of us represent a specific sound. Although your life can be inspired and influenced by other people's success stories, you have to remember that your life is unique for your situation. Don't try to copy or imitate other people's choices, lifestyles etc. It may not not work for you.

Be careful for what you wish for. Sometimes we waste precious time wishing that it may be best to have this and that. Some people wish they were rich, more beautiful or dating an attractive person. I heard of a story of a young man who was crazy in love with a beautiful girl. Later that night he prayed, ''LORD, if I could just date that girl I'd be the happiest guy alive!'' He asked her out for a date and they went out together...and he found himself praying,'' LORD, if  I could get rid of this girl I'd be the happiest guy alive.'' Did he know what was best for him? You have to accept and learn to live with the situation you are dealt with. Sometimes it may be best that we don't get what we want.

Face life squarely. As long as you're confused, having irrational fears, you can never live a happy and productive life. Any rational person would know by now that sex, TV, Internet, affairs, sports, entertainment, drugs and alcohol are not narcotics, not pacifiers, not substitutes for facing life squarely and dealing with it courageously. We all have dependency needs but trying to meet them through unhealthy obsessions will never work. Face life squarely and get your act together.

Higher purpose. No amount of wealth matters if you can't understand and appreciate life. Money, diamonds, designer clothing, sports cars, and mansions are all images of glamour, not  true reflections of fulfilment and happiness.  If you have not worked out your higher purpose of living, all these things are distractions that will blind you from focusing on what truly matters in life.


Are you waiting for a fairy godmother to wave her wand and make things happen? It's time to get real. To be happy you have to make decisions that won't always succeed but if risks are not taken, the potential for happiness won't be realised either. Swallow your pride, reflect on what went wrong, and start again, until you get it right. If you have a problem with how people see you, becoming happy will be difficult. Learn to silence the noise around you and listen to your inner voice. Here's my bottom line: Now go out there and be happy. You are the right person. Anything else is a lame excuse.

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