Relationships

By Sicebise Msengana

Pic: S638.photobucket.com

 

Relationships are very hard to maintain and require a lot of hard work and commitment. Some relationships fail simply because either parties want to work towards a successful relationship.

Forget about fantasies. Many relationships flop simply because people fall in love with the idealization of ''perfect love''- that the love person is  flawless, never grumpy, never sad, never disagrees and will wipe
away all unhappiness. To love in this way is to ask for disillusionment.

Compromise is key. A good relationship doesn't have a master or slave, boss or servant. Compromise for the sake of your relationship. You might win an argument but lose a person.  Of course you should point out when your lover hurts you. A wise mind can distinguish between what's hurtful and can be rectified, and what
is simply a fantasy or a quest for perfection.

It's not about finding the ''right' person. Many talk of a ''soul mate'' or ''perfect love.''  The other side of the coin is the challenge to love the imperfect and incomplete person- simply because you too, are imperfect and incomplete. A relationship will require much more effect and time, but the results will outweigh the instant gratification of days out and expensive gifts. Find someone who isn't afraid to admit that they miss you.

Don't lose yourself tying to change someone. Because they're realistic, happy lovers tolerate in the other the things they can't change. This doesn't mean being the ''martyr'' or ''doormat,'' but simply means the character of the loved one can't be changed to your tastes. Finding someone who know you're not perfect, but appreciates you as you are. 

Being with the right person for the right reasons surely helps a relationship through good and bad times. Loving is risky but not loving is far risky.

Your thoughts on relationships?