In life, we come across people who are always positive and friendly. I know a few people who seemed to have it figured out in life. They were saints. Always praying. Always believing. Showered you with compliments and endless love. Sometimes their warm demeanour actually becomes irritating at times. "How do you do it?" You think to yourself.
The rest of us were just flowing with our natural emotions and dealing with our demons. These people were shining stars of godliness, encouragement, happiness and joy.
After a while you start to question yourself and do some introspection. You feel a bit jealous, angry and sad - that someone has a better life, more money and achievements than you.
I used to feel guilty and ashamed for entertaining these thoughts. But I never felt like a bad person for a long time because I was surrounded by these people. Being around them - you couldn't help, but laugh your lungs out and be lifted up by their joyful aura around them.
Eventually you decide that these people's lives are perfect. They're highly favoured by God and there's nothing you can do about it. While your shitty life is stagnant. Their lives are flowered with great achievements and seemingly unbridled happiness.
Then one day you walk on them sniffing drugs, watching shitty porn or read on social media that they have committed suicide.
What the fuck?
No, you were the chosen one!
These people were supposed to have it figured it out since fortune favoured them. They were supposed to be immune to failure, weakness, humiliation and relationship stress like us mere mortals.
The world with a smug on their faces say, "I told you!" or "Life is not what it seems to be. " Then it hit me that bad things can happen to anyone - good and bad.
Little did we know that their lives were a mess and had a host of problems. They suffered privately. Some were in denial and wanted to maintain composure to the public eye.
It took me a while to see, but shocked me: such people suck at emotions. They engage in self denial. When they're supposed to be sad, they put on a smile. When they're supposed to be vulnerable, they act macho. They often put on a front and show the best parts of their lives and hide ugly truths about themselves.
Actually, it's one of the reasons why such people never get the help they deserve. They appeared to be what we all want to be: perfectly happy, loving and helping, always positive and motivated, never in a dull mood.
It's always wise to never trust people who are always positive and friendly. Life is a balance of positive and negative. They're hiding ugly truths from you.
If you can't solve a problem then self-pity or dwelling on it won't help. Truly happy people don’t allow themselves to become victims and they don’t feel sorry for themselves when bad things happen. They adapt and overcome. Only sad people cry a river about how life's unfair, what went wrong, and what’s not going their way.
True happiness comes from focusing on what's good in your life and showing gratitude for your blessings. Misery comes from being fixate on what's lacking in your life, masking your problems, being around people who inflict damage on your self-esteem and negative talk.
When going through uncertain times, instead of being the victim, crying or seeking sympathy, make the conscious decision to adapt, overcome, take the high road, and focus on what's good to sustain long term motivation.
Constantly trying to be happy all the time is unhealthy and unproductive just as being sad all the time. Stop trying to be happy or search for happiness all the time and start living. All the material wealth, success and accomplishments mount to nothing when we barely recognize that true happiness is found in minimizing your suffering and maximizing your happiness.
Don't let life pass you by in the pursuit of happiness. Starting living for today and take advantage of opportunities that will bring you lasting happiness. Don't listen to those lies telling you that you will never be happy. You may hear a voice saying, "You don't have what it takes to be happy - you're broke, bouncing from relationship to relationship, unemployed or sick." Just answer back, "No, I will run the race and finish it!"
Even though you're going through setbacks, even through some things that make you unhappy and seem unhappy. If you keep the right attitude and make the right choices, it will bring you happiness. Even if things don't work out, don't dwell on it because tomorrow is a new day. It's never too late to start either.
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